


A Time For Mercy

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 17:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3659604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Divine Victoria calls for all those who committed crimes in the Mage-Templar war to come forward for justice. Anders turns himself in, Hawke beside him, begging for mercy for the man she loves. Written for a kink-meme prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time For Mercy

It was time. 

It had clawed him for five years now, waiting for the right moment. But now...now his purpose was complete. The mages were free, the Circle disbanded. The Chantry, now led by Divine Victoria, was both stronger and gentler than ever before. It had taken some time to believe it had truly happened, but seeing his brother and sister mages walking down the roads, open and honestly, seeing them at prayer with the Templars...he knew there was no more he could do.

In the past two weeks, the notices came forward, pinned to every Chantry door. Divine Victoria offered all those who committed crimes during the Mage-Templar war to come forward, offering themselves for fair judgment. It was rumoured that she was favourable and kind in her decisions, fairer than many seemed reasonable. 

When the call came, Anders knew he had to turn himself in. He was not looking for leniency, but for judgment. He was no better than his peers who were coming forward. And his crime...his crime was greater than all of theirs. He had been selfish, hiding for all this time. At first, there had been good reasons. 

Hawke had been away for so long, leaving only him to care for their newborn son. But Hawke had been home, for good this time, for almost six months. It had been a joy to see her with their baby again...but he was no longer a babe either. He was nearly five years old himself, running around with the other children in the village, none of them knowing his infamous father. 

The boy had been a miracle, without a doubt in Anders' mind. After years of being with Hawke, his lover hoping desperately for a child, only to have him born less than a year after that terrible night in Kirkwall...Anders knew this child was a blessing, but not for him. Cullen, named for the Templar who had helped them escape, was a reward for Hawke and a chance for Anders to redeem himself. And a temptation. It would be easy enough to spend the rest of his days with his family, hiding his crimes and basking in the life he had always wanted. 

But he had once said, prayed again and again, he would do anything for a world where he and Hawke's children could be free. Now...now was time to pay the price.

It would be weeks to walk to Val Royeaux and he did not want to wait another moment. It was too hard, watching Hawke asleep beside him, the sounds of their son sleeping in the next room. Anders brushed the hair from her face, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She smiled in her sleep and he rose slowly, walking out into the hall. 

Anders paused before going into Cullen's room. Hawke would understand, he assured himself, but how would his son react when he was old enough to know the truth? Would he remember the father of his childhood or hold onto the image of his father, the mad man, the terrorist? 

This was a test and Anders was afraid to fail it. But he went inside regardless, sitting on the floor beside his bed. Cullen stirred slightly, looking up at his father with blinking eyes.

"Go to sleep, love," Anders murmured. "Sorry, I thought I heard something."

"Night, Papa," he said sleepily, turning back on his side.

Anders kissed the top of his head, closing his eyes. It took every ounce of willpower to leave the room, closing the door behind him. He turned, shocked to see Hawke standing in front of him, hands on her hips, her eyes narrowing in on him.

"Get back to bed, Anders," she demanded.

"I'm just getting a glass of-"

"I'm not stupid," Hawke growled. "I've seen all the proclamations too and I've watched you beating yourself up for half a decade. You are not going."

Anders said softly, "I have to. You know I do. I owe it to everyone who died in Kirkwall...to everyone who has died in this war. Everyone in Val Royeaux confessing their crimes is there because I put them there. This is my fault. If anyone should be giving themselves up to judgment, it's me."

"You don't have to do this," she reassured. "You did what you needed to. You don't owe an explanation to anyone anymore. And you have responsibilities here..."

She looked over at the closed door and whispered, "What will I say to him? He adores you. It will break his heart...it will break my heart. Anders, please don't do this. If you go...you're not coming back. I can't...not after everything we lost during the war, I can't lose you too."

Anders held her close to his chest, burying his head in her hair as she cried quietly into his shoulder. She pulled away, wiping her tears away.

"I have a responsibility to the mages too," he murmured. "This is the last thing I ever have to do...I have to atone. Please...please don't make this harder for me than it needs to be."

"Then I'm coming with you," she said quietly.

"Hawke-"

"No," she insisted. "If these are the last weeks I have with you...if you need to do this, then I want the world to know I'm behind you. I love you and I'm never going to leave you, even if they take you from me."

"What about Cullen?"

"We'll bring him with us. He'll be safer with us than anyone else. The Divine will not let a child be harmed, even if something happens to us. I'll write to Skyhold. If something goes wrong, Varric will take him in. I know he will." 

Anders said quietly, "Then we should go, as soon as we can."

"In the morning," she promised. "You should try to get some sleep, Anders."

She touched his face gently and he kissed her tenderly. She led him back to the bedroom and they laid side by side. He held her close, but neither of them could sleep.

***

Anders stood in line. It seemed silly that after three weeks on the road, each night tossing and turning, each night wracked with guilt, he had to wait in line to confess. 

The Grand Cathedral was packed with those coming forward for amnesty. Hawke waited beside Anders faithfully, their son already with Inquisition agents in the city. If something went wrong, he needed to get back to Ferelden as soon as possible. And no child needed to witness this. Nor stand in line several hours to do so.

When finally he was called up, Anders tiredly went forward, Hawke holding him up by the arm. The Left Hand first asked him to state his name and crime, Divine Victoria slowly looking up to see them. Her face fell slightly as Anders stepped forward.

"My name is Wilhelm Hawke, born Wilhelm Wagner. From the age of 16, I have gone by the nickname Anders. I claim responsibility for the explosion of Kirkwall's Chantry during the Rebellion of 9:37 Dragon. I take responsibility for the deaths during both of the actual attack and for beginning the Rebellion itself. I give myself forward for judgment."

There was a gasp in the crowd and several guards went forward, dragging Anders to kneel at the feet of Victoria, their swords pointed at his throat. Hawke ran forward, kneeling beside him.

"Please, Most Holy," Hawke begged. "Do not hurt him."

Victoria said kindly, "Let the accused speak. I do not imagine he will run now."

The guards backed off and Anders stood slowly, Hawke grasping at his hand.

"The Champion of Kirkwall stands beside you," Victoria commented. "Do you speak on behalf of the accused?"

"I can speak for-"

Hawke interrupted, "I do, Your Perfection. I come to speak on the behalf of the man I love, my husband of eight years. He bares my name as his own and I have the right to speak in defense of my House."

A smirk passed Victoria's lips as she said, "Please, continue."

Hawke looked to Anders briefly, before turning back to face her.

"I was in Kirkwall in the years before the Rebellion. I've known Anders for almost all of my adult life. For years, he tried everything he could to save his city. He nearly killed himself, working himself to the bone, to help every lost soul who found their way into his clinic. He sacrificed himself again and again to harbour and protect any mage that needed him. He saved countless lives, both as a Grey Warden and as a fugitive."

The Left Hand barked, "For every life he saved, he may have ended three."

"The Mage-Templar war was started years later," Hawke argued. "It would have happened regardless. It did not matter the spark that ignited it. He took it upon himself, knowing it was wrong, because he would rather suffer that sin himself than let any other do it. For the last five years, he has worked by my side to repair the damage. He is, and always has been, a good man. We all did things during the war we regret, Your Perfection. He has offered himself to you in atonement, of his own free will, despite any objections on my part. Please...please show the mercy that will be the legacy of your reign. He has thrown himself at your feet and for his sake, I do the same."

Hawke knelt and Anders knelt beside her, gazing at her in adoration. Whatever happened next, he knew in that moment he could not have loved her more.

The Right Hand leaned in to whisper something to Victoria, but she waved her off.

"Stand," Victoria ordered, "both of you."

They stood slowly, Hawke holding onto Anders.

"I have rendered my judgment," she announced. "Anders, stand and receive my decision."

Hawke let go, letting Anders walk the last foot to the steps before her throne. Victoria walked down slowly and Anders looked up, shaking as he faced her gaze.

The crowd grew loud as Victoria embraced him. Anders started sobbing as she whispered in his ear.

"The Maker forgives you, Anders, as he has a long time ago. Do not punish yourself any further," she assured.

She let go and addressed the crowd, growing restless. Anders could hear their fury, even amongst some of the cheers and whistles. 

"My children," Victoria announced. "The Maker loves and forgives all who ask for mercy. If this time of judgment has proved anything, it is that the mages of our beloved Thedas have the wisdom and compassion to know when they have erred and when they must atone. I embrace one hated and loathed because I see in him the spark of God, as I see in all of you. Embrace those who ask for mercy and find the same forgiveness in your hearts as the Maker finds for you."

Anders turned, seeing slowly those waiting for judgment being hugged by those around them. Former Templars, former Circle mages, those caught in between. There were slow murmurs as the mood changed, growing calmer, peaceful. Anders turned back to Victoria, realizing he was still crying.

"If you wish to atone, Anders," Victoria said, "then you will come serve us in Orlais. You will serve the poor and needy as you always have. You will worship in our congregation, side by side, a living example that we can all be redeemed by the light of the Maker. You will never face harm or retaliation. I promise you this."

"And my family?" He asked.

Victoria smiled. "You are no Brother, Anders. Bring them to Orlais. If Hawke wishes to support you, let her serve beside you as a beloved wife. We are in dire need of healers in this city. Your son will be safe, and if he is a mage, then he will be educated without fear. I have rendered my judgment, will you accept?"

Anders knelt and kissed her hand. He stood again and Hawke held him, kissing him hard. He was surprised to hear a few quiet applause, even among still the murmurs of discontent.

"Let us have a recess before we begin again," Victoria announced. "Spread word amongst the faithful of what has occurred here today. Let us find unity and friendship amongst all those injured in the war. All those who ask for mercy shall find it."

Anders felt a lightness in his heart that he had not felt since he was a child. A smile crept upon his face, even as tears streamed down his face. He buried his face in Hawke's hair, the two holding each other still as the Cathedral emptied.


End file.
